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Oh, Ew, Just… Just, EW.

Yikes! So, apparently, in an effort to demonstrate how icky gay sex is, Glenn Beck drew parallels between incest and homosexuality in his book “The Real America.” This is pretty run-of-the-mill homo-hating, but Beck takes it a step further and basically admits that yeah, it’d be nice to fuck whoever you want, but if he doesn’t get to fuck his sister, then the gays have gotta reign ‘er in, too. Andy Cobb acts out the sexy sexiness, for your viewing pleasure.


The saddest part is the way he tries to make it sound hot, and fails at it, because he doesn’t understand normal human sexuality at all. It reminds me of Bill O’Reilly’s sad sex scenes in “Those Who Trespass.” It’s so sad to see grown men grappling with their sexualities in this clumsy way. It’s just so clear that they probably spent their horny adolescences slamming their teen study bibles shut on their erections, out of guilt.

via Pandagon.

Jill Stanek Identifies A New Target

Christ on a cracker, how irresponsible can you get? Anti-abortion blogger Jill Stanek doesn’t miss a beat identifying the next target for people in her movement to murder.

Ant-abortion folks don’t want you to know that the kind of abortions Dr. Tiller performed were all deemed medically necessary. At least two doctors had to agree that continuing the pregnancy would cause irreversible and substantial injury to the mother. In many of these cases, the mother and fetus are both endangered by the pregnancy. I guess a lot of people just see that as a two-for-one deal. They think that dying in childbirth, even if the baby dies hours or days later, is the most noble end a lowly woman could ever possibly meet.

The fact that Dr. Tiller performed these therapeutic abortions in order to save women’s lives, in the face of so much danger, demonstrates what an exceptionally compassionate and brave man he was. Removing opportunities for pregnant women to have their non-viable pregnancies terminated so that they can, if they wish, go on to have other children is so at odds with the whole “pro-family” position that these people claim to operate out of that I don’t know how they keep themselves from seeing it. And if a woman and her fetus both die because people who call themselves “pro-life” murdered all the doctors left who would perform the procedure that would save her life, would they ever see the irony?

Bill Hicks is more appropriate than ever:


I Also Want To Be Evil


Tuna In A Creamy Lemon Sauce with Capers and Basil on Fettuccine

So last night I found a recipe for creamy chipotle orange sauce. Call me a rube, but I had never considered making creamy citrus sauces before. I did not know that such a thing could be done. I figured it was impossible, because adding citrus would curdle the cream. But the recipe called for several tablespoons of orange zest. So I made the creamy chipotle orange zest sauce with shrimp and tossed in chopped cilantro at the end. As you can imagine, it was delicious. Then I started thinking of all the citrus sauces I could make. I got the idea to try out a creamy lemon sauce, and it was bangin’. Here’s how it went down:

1 lb of yellowfin tuna
1 1/2 cups of half and half
a tablespoon or so of butter
3 or 4 cloves chopped garlic
a handful of fresh chopped basil
a bunch of capers
zest of three lemons
fettuccine
salt and pepper to taste

Start boiling the water for the fettuccine while you heat up a pan to melt the butter in. Chop the garlic and cut the tuna into bite-sized pieces. Heat up the butter at a low temperature until it just starts to bubble and toss in the garlic. Push it around with a wooden spoon until it becomes fragrant and then toss in the tuna. Use a zester and add the zest from three large lemons, being careful not to get any juice in the pan. Then add the cream and reduce the heat. Continue to stir. When the water for the pasta begins to boil, cook the fettuccine until it’s just barely al dente. Then drain it and add it to the creamy tuna mixture to cook the rest of the way. When the pasta is completely tender and the tuna is cooked all the way through, toss in a handful of fresh basil and a handful of capers. Cook just until the basil is wilted. Serve with a nice wheat bear like Hoegaarden. Mouthgasm!

A New Laptop And Shit

So I bought a new laptop. Hooray! My old Dell was a piece of shit. Within months of buying it, the battery crapped out, and after that, two different power cords crapped out. I sold it on eBay and used the money to supplement the purchase of a new one.

I’m going to change the focus of the blog a bit. In the past, I struggled with covering fun stuff alongside so much tragedy happening throughout the world. But I guess that’s the way life happens. So, yes, changes. I’m excited to have time to do this again.

Arpaio: Older Than Dirt

Much was made of John McCain’s age in the presidential election. Many postulated that at 72, the Arizona senator wouldn’t be able to retain his mental and physical health for one term, let alone two. And yet, John McCain is older than Sheriff Arpaio. That’s right!
This guy:


..is younger than Arpaio!

Know what else is younger than Arpaio? Cheerios, for one thing. Also, the nuclear bomb. Arpaio is also older than thorazine, as well as the transorbital lobotomy. He is also older than the polio vaccine, the snow mobile, and drive in movie theaters. Canned beer is younger than Sheriff Joe Arpaio, as are the ballpoint pen, LSD, and the helicopter.

Read this.

This is why my heart beats like crazy when I get pulled over. This is why people are afraid to call the police.

Well, That’s A Good Question

Jill’s right, why does Joe Arpaio still have a job?

A woman who was nine months into her pregnancy lost her baby because officials at the jail wouldn’t give her medical attention. The woman was serving a sentence for a DUI she had gotten almost a year before, before she had gotten pregnant. From the New Times:

By the time the ambulance arrived at the Maricopa County Hospital, Spencer had been in severe pain and without a doctor for almost four hours. Doctors delivered Ambria Renee Spencer, a 9-pound baby girl with a quarter-inch of thick hair on her head.

Ambria was dead. Spencer’s pain had been caused by internal bleeding — a malady known as placental abruption. Babies often survive the condition, if their mothers go immediately to a hospital. The treatment is simple: immediate delivery. Otherwise, the baby dies from blood loss.

Inmates in Arpaio’s jails aren’t usually allowed to see their babies after birth. Despite protests from the jail guard, hospital employees brought baby Ambria to Spencer, so she could see her daughter before the funeral.

The thing about Arpaio is that he is adored by hundreds of thousands, perhaps millions, of ignorant asswipes who apparently think that letting a full-term, very much wanted baby die inside her mother is just a fitting sentence for a DUI. That’ll learn her! She won’t drive drunk again! You can bet that an overwhelming majority of Arpaio’s supporters also consider themselves “pro-life.” And yet when you ask them how they manage to reconcile the senseless deaths that take place in Arpaio’s jails with their views on the sanctity of life, they sputter some nonsense about how we can’t be getting soft on crime, now, revealing how little they care about human lives that are in any degree of peril.

Another thing I hear again and again regarding Arpaio is that he’s saving us all this money by manufacturing dangerous conditions in the jails and feeding the inmates piles of rotten shit that you wouldn’t even feed a dog. In reality, of course, all of these deaths result in lawsuits, and the judgments are huge. So far, Arpaio’s grandstanding has cost Maricopa County taxpayers almost $500 million dollars. I suppose that’s a price they’re willing to pay to see mentally disabled people suffocate to death after getting arrested for loitering.

From Wikipedia:

Charles Agster
Charles Agster, a 33-year-old mentally handicapped man, died in the county jail three days after being forced by sheriff’s officers into a restraint chair used for controlling combative arrestees. Agster’s parents had been taking him to a psychiatric hospital because he was exhibiting paranoia, then called police when he refused to leave a convenience store where they had stopped enroute. Officers took Agster to the Madison Street jail, placed a “spit hood” over his face and strapped him to the chair, where he had an apparent seizure and lost consciousness. He was declared brain dead three days later. A medical examiner later concluded that Agster died of complications of methamphetamine intoxication. In a subsequent lawsuit, an attorney for the sheriff’s office described the amount of methamphetamine in Agster’s system as 17 times the known lethal dose. The lawsuit resulted in a $9 million jury verdict against the county, the sheriff’s office, and Correctional Health Services.

Scott Norberg
One major controversy includes the 1996 death of inmate Scott Norberg, a former Brigham Young University football wide receiver, who died while in custody of the Sheriff’s office. Norberg was arrested for assaulting a police officer in Mesa, Arizona, after neighbors in a residential area had reported a delirious man walking in their neighborhood. Arpaio’s office repeatedly claimed Norberg was also high on methamphetamine, but a blood toxicology performed post-mortem was inconclusive. Norberg did, however, have methamphetamine in his urine, proving that he had used the drug at some point fairly recently before his death. During his internment, evidence suggests detention officers shocked Norberg several times with a stun-gun. According to an investigation by Amnesty International, Norberg was already handcuffed and face down when officers dragged him from his cell and placed him in a restraint chair with a towel covering his face. After Norberg’s corpse was discovered, detention officers accused Norberg of attacking them as they were trying to restrain him. The cause of his death, according to the Maricopa County medical examiner, was due to “positional asphyxia”. Sheriff Arpaio investigated and subsequently cleared detention officers of any criminal wrongdoing.

Norberg’s parents filed a lawsuit against Arpaio and his office. The lawsuit was settled for $8.25 million (USD).

Brian Crenshaw
Brian Crenshaw was a blind inmate allegedly beaten into a coma by guards working under Arpaio. Crenshaw suffered injuries that included a perforated intestine and a broken neck. He later died at a local hospital.

Crenshaw’s family filed a lawsuit against Arpaio and his office, which resulted in an award of $2 million dollars. As in the Scott Norberg case, it was alleged that Arpaio’s office destroyed evidence in the case. In the Crenshaw case, the attorney who represented the case before a jury alleged digital video evidence was destroyed.

Richard Post
Richard Post was a paraplegic inmate arrested in 1996 for possession of marijuana and criminal trespass. Post was placed in a restraint chair by guards and his neck was broken in the process. The event, caught on video, shows guards smiling and laughing while Post is being injured. Because of his injuries, Post has lost much of the use of his arms. Post settled his claims against the Sheriff’s office for $800,000.

Jeremy Flanders
In 1996, Jeremy Flanders was attacked by inmates at Tent City who used rebar tent stakes, which were not concreted into the ground. Although these stakes had been used as weapons in a previous riot at the facility, the Sheriff’s office chose not to secure them properly. During the trial, the defendant “presented evidence that, among other things, the Sheriff and his deputies had actual knowledge that prisoners used rebar tent stakes and tent poles as weapons and did nothing to prevent it.” Furthermore, “the Sheriff admitted knowing about, and in fact intentionally designing, some conditions at Tent City that created a substantial risk of inmate violence.” After the attack: “another inmate entered the tent and found Flanders unconscious, gasping for air, and spewing blood out of his mouth, nose and ears. Flanders had been bloodied and beaten so badly that the other inmate initially did not recognize Flanders.” Flanders suffered permanent brain damage as a result of the attack. On appeal, Flanders was awarded $635,532, of which Arpaio was personally responsible for thirty-five percent.

…And that’s only a sampling of the many, many lives that have been lost or damaged needlessly, all so the most cowardly people in Maricopa County could feel safe. Call me crazy, but it doesn’t make me feel safe to know that a diabetic woman died in jail as a result of not being provided with her life sustaining medication. It makes me really sad, actually, and ashamed. To all of Arpaio’s supporters: this blood, baby Ambria’s and Charles Agsters, Debborah Braillard’s and all these poor souls, it’s on your hands as well. By voting for him, you helped do this. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

Employees vote for Obama? Punish them!

Here’s one reason not to talk politics in the workplace: Matt Towery, business owner and Townhall.com columnist, says he’s cutting benefits for his employees in anticipation of Obama’s tax plan. If you read his article, though, it’s clear that the cuts in benefits are being rolled out in no small part to punish employees for supporting Obama.

From the article:

Unlike most media companies, we are avoiding laying off employees. But we are having to cut their pay and benefits. After all, we will all be making less.
Many of my employees and contract workers supported Sen. Obama. I admired the fact that they wanted change.

Did he say “admired”? He meant, “wanted to punish them for.”

…If you own or run a small business, you might want to share this memo with your own employees; particularly those who enthusiastically supported the huge Democratic victory. They may well expect that “change” is coming immediately and that it will be in the form of financial reward. And that may be true. The president-elect is pushing for another stimulus package, so that folks might get another check from the government, like they did earlier this year.
But they will need to understand that it comes out of the wallet of the owner or manager of their company, and that means their take-home pay and other benefits will likely have to be reduced for some time to come.
I’m sure that’s change they can live with. After all, they voted for it. Now we must share the pain.

So under Obama’s new tax plan, Towery faces a 3% increase on the portion of his income that exceeds $250,000. He and employees know full well the company’s capacity to remain profitable at the new tax rate hasn’t been diminished—he just wants to punish them for supporting Barack Obama. Is retaliating against your employees for their political beliefs even legal? You want change, huh? I’ll change your medical benefits to nonexistent! How’s that for change you can believe in?

Now if Towery wants to write an article about how he’s bracing himself for the hard times that he’s certain are right around the corner, that’s one thing. But the way that he points out that employees who voted for change oughta be likin’ this change, heh heh heh, makes it seem really retaliatory. There’s a reason he points out that the employees who will be impacted by the cutting of medical benefits just so happened to voice their support for Obama. Towery leads you right to the conclusion that if you cut their benefits, they shouldn’t complain, because it’s their punishment for not voting lockstep with their masters employers. What an unbelievable asswipe this Towery guy is. His preferred candidate doesn’t get elected so he gets right to work on fucking over employees who may have voted for the other guy. Someone should tell Towery that he’s not making anyone feel more sympathetic toward business owners who might face a higher tax rate under Obama’s plan. He’s making them seem like really terrible people to work for.

Palin Approved A Budget That Forced Rape Victims To Pay To Have Evidence Collected

While Sarah Palin was mayor of Wasilla, the police chief she hired suggested that in order to cut expenses, the state stop paying for victim’s rape kits. Instead, they would be billed to the victims or their insurance companies. I don’t know how anyone can argue that this is just sound fiscal policy–we all know that it would be crazy if someone broke into your house and the police sent you a bill for investigating. And yet in Wasilla, Alaska, they charged rape victims to have evidence collected from their bodies that might result in a conviction.

So let’s be clear: Sarah Palin, as mayor of Wasilla, approved a budget that forced rape victims to pay to have evidence collected from their bodies. So, if you were a woman in Wasilla who was unlucky enough to be raped under Palin’s new budget plan, you would have to pay over a thousand dollars in order to have enough evidence to build a case against your rapist. And, if you were unlucky enough to have gotten pregnant as a result of that rape, well, Palin thinks you should be forced to carry your rapist’s baby. Why does Sarah Palin hate rape victims?

I’d like to see this story get a lot more press, but what’s really sad is that I don’t think it will make very many Palin/McCain constituents very angry. Many of these people probably think that women file false rape charges recreationally, or maybe get raped on purpose just so that they can hopefully have an abortion later.

Via Pandagon.